Archive for November, 2010|Monthly archive page

Gameweek 15: The Turkey

In 2010/11 on November 25, 2010 at 9:36 pm

What do Clint Dempsey, Marcus Hahnemann and Stuart Holden have in common?  That’s right baby, they’re all on the gameweek 15 Thanksgiving watchlist. WOOO!!

Captain Clint – THANKS

Reasons to get Clint Dempsey in your fantasy premier league team;

1.  He raps

2.  He has 3 goals in his last 4 shots against Rob Green (thank you opta joe)

3.  He is Fulham’s highest point scorer this season with 56 points this season and at home to Birmingham there is a strong possibility that Captain Clint might play up front

Stuart Holden – STICK

Stuart Holden is possibly the most steady player in fantasy premier league history.

“Steady Stu” has got 2 points (no bookings, no assists, no goals, no clean sheets) in all but 3 games this season.  Of those 3 games, Stu got 3 points twice (for a clean sheet) and a whopping 10 points in the other, gameweek 13 against Wolves.  Despite this bang average performance, Holden is a neat player and at 5.0 million there could be worst shouts, especially at home to Blackpool.

Marcus Hahnemann – NO THANKS

Big, bald and bad.  Marcus is the thanksgiving turkey.

Not only is his stock going down quicker than Lehman Brothers, he is yet to keep a clean sheet all season.  Wolves are suffering big time in defence with both Craddock and Berra currently injured.  Even though they are at home to Sunderland I can’t see a clean sheet here.  Get Marcus out!!


Gameweek 14: The Altercation

In 2010/11 on November 19, 2010 at 11:41 am

It’s gameweek 14 and things are getting messy.  Managers far and wide are taking on the authorities; Ian Holloway vs the premier league, Roy Hodgson vs the FA and mjmaxwell vs fantasy premier league.  Back in gameweek 4 I had my first run in with the fantasy premier league.  And lost.

Fulham were at home to Wolves and Chris Berra was making his Team Alpha debut (a steal at £4.5million).  The Wolves and Scotland centre back had what can only be described as a shocker.  

Things started ok and Chris was on a clean sheet up until the 49th minute. 

49 minute: Fulham goal – despite losing points, I couldn’t really complain – 2 points for a Wolves defender away from home is fair game.  Then it all went wrong. 

76 minute: Berra makes a soft challenge and gets a very harsh booking – down to 1 point! 

92 minute:  Injury time. Seconds to go.  Berra makes another delicate challenge and another booking, a red card -3 points, Berra down to -1.  A total shower.  Game over.  In a matter of minutes he went from finishing the game on 1 point to -1.  Or so I thought. 

93 minute:  From the resulting free-kick Delembe spanked in a winner, not that I really cared as Berra was already off the pitch by then, safe with his final score of -1 points. 

But when fantasy premier league updated the points there was an error of grave proportions.  Berra was on -2 points, losing another point for conceding 2 goals, despite the fact he was only on the pitch for 1 of those goals. 

I was livid and wanted answers.  How could fantasy premier league make such a blatant error?  Was is a vendetta against Team Alpha?  Why Chris Berra of all people?  I wanted answers and I wanted my point back!! 


User-name: mjmaxwell

Team name: Team Alpha

Registered email address: www.twitter.com/mjmaxwell

Hi there,

I am writing in regards to C.Berra’s points in Gameweek Four for

Wolves against Fulham.

Berra received -2 points in the game, however I think this should

stand at -1 point.

He received -3 for a Red Card, but should be on 2 as Wolves only

conceeded 1 goal whilst he was on the pitch.

(2 – 3 = -1)

Please can you amend accordingly?

Many thanks,


Berra 89 0 0 2 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 -2


Hi there,

From the rules. 

If a player receives a red card they will continue to be penalised for goals conceded by their team.

Kind regards



Rinsed by fantasy premier league.  Lesson learnt.  If you take on the big boys make sure you know the rules first!

Gameweek 13: The Watchlist

In 2010/11 on November 12, 2010 at 12:41 am

What is going on in fantasy premier league?  The rule book has been well and truly torn up.  There was a time when you could fill your team up with as many galacticos as you could and you knew that you’d get big points each gameweek. Not anymore.  Name me one premiership big name that has done it this season?  Rooney, Lampard, Gerrard, Torres, Cesc, RvP.  All the big names, that year on year get the big fantasy premier league points but not anymore.

What makes this even more annoying is, that it makes picking a captain even more difficult.  Traditionally rule 3 of picking captain was pick a galactico

“Galactico – Lampard, Cesc, Gerrard, Drogba, Rooney – the man, the one who week in week out delivers.  The man who you pay top dollar for.  The man whose teammates look to for inspiration.  Even when they don’t play well the galacticos get points and more often then not bonus points.  If you are paying top money for them, make them your captain.”

Does that still ring true?  The big boys aren’t really doing it are they.  Although I still believe in backing a galactico for captain, gameweek 14 could be the perfect time for the alternatives.

The Zog
Young Charles is really picking up form.  Following a strong 2009/10 with 146 points, this season started with great promise where The Zog was valued at a cool £6million.  Things however didn’t start well when Charles, like a TFL night worker, went on strike during gameweek 1 home banker against Blackpool.  Anyways The Zog has seemed to turn a corner and is averaging a decent  5 points / game.  With a home match against West Brom (who even on the best of form concede), N’Zogbia’s average points / game will surely go up this week.

The Dam
Charlie Adam – the sulking Scots figures speak for themselves. 3 goals, 3 assists, 13 bonus points, £5.7 million.  Is there better value around in midfielder?  Away at West Ham.  I see bonus points.

Time to Bale out?
Gareth Bale is a strange phenom.  Sky sports big him up to be on a par with Messi and Ronaldo yet his fantasy premier league numbers put him on a par with Sebastian Larsson and Darren Fletcher.  His numbers aren’t good with 1 assist, 0 goals or bonus points in his last 10 games.  How can a player with such ability and hype get so few points?

1.  Focus – Spurs look set up to feed one focal atacking outlet; they have a lot of patient build up play in midfield and then bang, they feed the chosen dangerman when they can damage the opposition most.  Last season this man was Lennon and then Bale.  Now it is Van der Vaart and Bale’s role has become the worst in fantasy premier league – to assist the assist.

2.  The double up – when Bale does get a chance to attack, unlike in Europe (Maicon) he now is being marked by both winger and full back. Although Phil Neville might have got the plaudits for stopping Bale, most of the hardwork was done by Seamus Coleman, who stopped his runs before they even started.

Despite Van der Vaart and the double up, if ever there was a game to get big points, at home to Blackburn and Michel Salgado is it.

Gameweek 11: The Injuries

In 2010/11 on November 5, 2010 at 1:16 pm

Oh shit.  Injuries and lots of them.  Do you transfer?  Take a 4 point hit?  Keep them in and watch their price drop?  Gameweek 11 presents the first real dilemma week of the season. Tevez, Malouda, Nani, Cesc, Van Der Vaart all doubtful.  Big players that are in most fantasy premier league teams.  If you get an injury to a 4th choice midfielder you can deal with it but to 5 potential starters – that’s a killer!  And you know what makes even more annoying?  They are all doubtful.  Not one is properly injured but doubtful.

What an annoying word.  So vague, so nothing.  It doesn’t give you anything does it? Imagine if doubtful was used in your day to day life,

“Sorry boss I can’t make it in to work today”

“How come – is everything ok, are you sick?”

“No, I’m just doubtful.”

“Oh right, when will you be back in work?”

“Don’t know.  I’m doubtful.”

“Oh right.”

Injuries are much easier to deal with if the player is out for a minimum of 2, maybe 3 weeks.  At least then you can have some closure.  As a general rule if the injury is 2-3 weeks and you can get a decent team, wait the injury out.  If the injury is 3 weeks or more and you only have 10 players out, act early (pre price drop) but most importantly think long-term.  If you bring in a new player will you still want them in three gameweeks time?

Gameweek 10: The Bonus Point Round Up

In 2010/11 on November 2, 2010 at 9:05 pm

A tale of two fullbacks

Homer for Simpson
It nearly happened again.  In the 70th minute of Newcastle vs. Sunderland, Danny Simpson went on a marauding run down the wing, he beat a couple of Sunderland defenders and crossed.  Andy Carroll headed onto the bar and big Shola Ameobi applied a neat finish.  Nice.  4 points for Shola, 3 for the assist for Andy and a pat on the back for Danny Simpson.  But no! Fantasy premier league had other ideas.  For some reason the powers that be, fresh from the gameweek 9 Carroll-gate assist scandal, decided to award Simpson with the assist, denying Carroll any involvement in the goal.  I could see Monday’s headlines;



With a public backlash looming and lessons learnt from the Newcastle vs. West Ham fiasco,  fantasy premier league acted promptly awarding Carroll the assist at full time and a bonus point to boot.  Crisis averted.

Spare a thought for poor Danny Simpson in all of this.  It was his first home start of the season and on 90 minutes he was looking at a massive 8 points – clean sheet and assist.  He could go home happy knowing that his team not only won the local derby but more importantly his return from injury won him serious fantasy premier league points.  However the inevitable happened when Sunderland got a corner and Darren Bent scored in 91st minute.  If that wasn’t bad enough for young Danny his “assist” was rescinded.  In 1 minute, 8 became 1.

Very rainy for Stephen Crainey
Blackpool vs. West Brom was classic Monday night football.  It had everything; goals, red cards, lots of rain and bonus points. But it left me asking, “how the f*ck did Stephen Crainey get 3 bonus points?”  For a full back to get 3 bonus points they surely need to do something really special; maybe an assist, a goal or perhaps a goal line clearance and a clean sheet?

Not for fantasy premier league, Crainey took a leaf out of the Barry Ferguson bonus point text book by having a solid if not spectacular game.  To be fair he was decent but I honestly can’t think of anything of note that he did to earn 1 bonus point let alone 3.  What a shower.